Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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