Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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