Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
