i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
