My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
and you fell through a lawn chair
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
