it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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