he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
