M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Enjoy the penises
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
