its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
