im drinking this country out of the recession.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize