She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
