well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize