and she was petting her beer can
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
