He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
