it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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