Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
