Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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