If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
