he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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