I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I need to align my fucking chakras
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
