Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
