Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
