Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Damn victory sex feels great
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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