If i come over, it means nothing
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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