i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize