1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
