lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
