Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
