I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
