Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
