Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
