So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
