I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
