We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
