is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
