i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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