toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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