Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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