i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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