The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
