She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
