I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
