At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
