Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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