i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There's always time for handjobs
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
