In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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