Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
