What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
