Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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