is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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