I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
