maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
