How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
