Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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