Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize