It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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