I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
