He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize