He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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