Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize