She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
