how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
