Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize