we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
