everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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