How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
