you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
