i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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