I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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